My thirties are turning out to be way better than expected.

Pnex
6 min readDec 13, 2020

Life is full of lessons.

The longer you live, the more you (hopefully) learn.

Here are some fundamental lessons that took me until 30 to fully understand.

1. Acquire knowledge not stuff

Stuff weighs you down. Knowledge sets you free.

I used to spend a lot of money on cars, expensive phones, and other electronics.

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Now, I spend it on books and online courses, which are far less expensive (saving money is wonderful), and they expand my overall knowledge, helping me to earn even more money in the future.

2. You are your best investment

401(k)’s, IRAs, Tesla, and Bitcoin are all great investments (as of today). But you are a far better investment than those will ever be.

There are lots of ways to invest in yourself — buy a gym membership (and actually go), read books, sleep 8 hours a night, talk to a therapist, etc.

When you make these investments, you improve your overall “score” as a human, which elevates your confidence, your well-being, your earning potential, and general happiness.

You’ll never make a better ROI than money and time spent on yourself.

3. “Not enough hours in the day” is bullshit

You have the time to do anything you want. It’s all about priorities.

Don’t believe me? Check your daily screen time or how much time you waste watching shows or playing video games.

Every time I tell myself, “I don’t have the time for that,” what I’m really saying is, “that’s not a priority for me right now”.

4. Only do things YOU want to do

I juggle many different priorities including my 9–5 job, writing, coffee shop work, personal goals, and relationships, but there’s one theme they have in common — they’re all things I want to be doing.

Even though it took until 30, I’m quite proud to have learned this lesson so early in my life. I feel like many others live their entire lives according to someone else’s plan, Past Jason included.

But now, I realize no one gets to make my schedule except for me. Life’s too short to plow somebody else’s metaphorical field.

Though I don’t always enjoy the things I do, I at least know that it’s my choice to do them, and whenever I want, I have the power to stop and do something else instead.

Always do what you want.

5. Your phone is just a distraction

It’s a shiny object always within arm’s reach that gives you full access to as many rabbit holes that you’re willing to spend your time venturing through.

Normally though, you’re just checking it waiting for a social media notification or someone you’re crushing on to send you a message.

Hell, I’ve spent a TON of time browsing Reddit just waiting for a girl I like to text me back. When she does, it’s like a shot of dopamine that gives me just enough of a dose to wait for the next one.

But all that time spent “waiting” is time wasted. Your phone is hands down the biggest distraction from doing the work you know you should be doing.

These days when I catch myself in that loop, I ask myself, “What are you waiting for dumbass? Put the phone down,” and then I get back to work.

6. The perfect time never comes

There will always be a super justifiable, totally realistic excuse not to do something. I’m not kidding — there are a lot of legitimate reasons against going back to school, or starting a new project, or settling down, or whatever else.

That’s the problem though. There’s always something, which is why if you want it bad enough, you have to make it a priority and just do it.

It doesn’t matter what else is going on in your life. If it’s important to you, you’ll figure it out and make it work.

7. You never know where life is going to take you…

…so always be willing to take a chance.

The best job I’ve ever had (my current job) was with a company I had never heard of. While waiting for companies like Boeing, BMW, and Eaton to get back to me, I said, “screw it, I’ll go interview with those guys.” And it’s been 100% worth ever since.

The best dates I’ve had are ones that I was reluctant about and came close to canceling.

The best life experiences I’ve had were spur-the-moment “fuck it, let’s do it” adventures.

Time and again, life surprises you.

You can try to plan all you want, but it’s the unplanned events that make life spectacular.

8. Love yourself first

You won’t find what you’re missing internally in someone else.

9. With others, love isn’t enough

In 2017, I married the woman I loved. Six months later, we were separated. Eventually, divorced.

Love simply wasn’t enough.

Now, I understand there are a lot of other factors that need to be considered when choosing a lifelong partner, including the big things like:

  • Do you agree on kids and how to raise them?
  • Do you agree on how you spend your money?
  • Do you agree on how much time to spend together?

But also the little things like:

  • What temperature do you like to keep the thermostat on?
  • How do you load the dishwasher?
  • How often should you cut the grass?

Wherever total agreement isn’t possible, compromise and willingness to make it work are what dictate a successful relationship.

10. It’s totally OK to break routine

In fact, you should break your routines regularly.

Routines are awesome…until they’re not. Case in point — even the best exercise routines eventually lead to plateaus (i.e. stalled progress).

Use routines as long as they’re working for you. When they no longer work, or when you’re no longer happy with them, find a new one.

Life changes but smart people adapt.

Bonus lesson — The best nights are spent sober, in bed by 9 pm, reading with a scented candle.

I couldn’t think of a better way to close out this article. It’s a very specific lesson, but kind of my favorite one.

I learned that I love these kinds of nights, and 9 times out of 10, it’s what I do.

My thirties are turning out to be way better than expected.

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